Havin' Fun at the G20

With the impending arrival of G20 dignitaries and their entourage of rent-a-mob protesters, the fed has seen fit to evacuate all mailboxes from the downtown area. This move should also serve to discourage al-qaeda from trying to parcel-post a suicide bomber to the proceedings.

No doubt, bandanna-ed groups like The Coalition for Broccoli Equality will be attacking anything that remotely conveys government ownership or control. Which in Pittsburgh is pretty much everything but the pigeons. But apparently, mailboxes, pacifists that they are, are most at risk. And therein lies a tremendous opportunity for the City of Pittsburgh to send a message to the world. That message is: start a riot and we'll shoot you!

So here's what they should do. Get a hold of the guys from those hunting shows on Versus and post them up on a building. Then, leave one mailbox out in the open and let the cameras roll. While the guy in Real Tree camo whispers on and on about the wind and the sun and travel routes and the one he missed in Seattle awhile back, protesters will start sneaking out of the shadows and start sniffing warily around the mailbox. Eventually, one will have a go at it. At which point, the Versus guy stops whispering to the camera and BLAM.

It's just like baitin' a bear.

"Woo! Look at him! He... is... a... beauty! Looks to be about six foot, has to weigh 128 pounds! That's huge for a protester!"

Then, as a guitar and a harmonica play a gentle down-home ditty in the background, we see our Versus fellow carting off his quarry with a deer drag, and hear the voice of Sam Elliot say, "There's nothing like spending a day afield in protester country."

And somewhere, a whole slew of other rent-a-mob protesters will start thinking, "Yeah, I don't want to play anymore."