Schools were closed again in Pittsburgh today, one week after the very first snowstorm to hit this city in recorded human history and possibly well before that.
With only four days notice of the impending deluge of snow, the storm caught everyone by complete, utter and total surprise, including the Mayor, who was stuck an hour outside of town at a ski resort where he was celebrating his seventh birthday.
Over 21 inches of snow hit Pittsburgh on Friday and Saturday, February 5th and 6th. The National Weather Service warned the city to expect 8 to 14 inches of snow, setting a new government record for accuracy. By Wednesday, streets in nearly every city neighborhood remained unplowed. The rivers however are snow-free.
The storm and its attendant inconveniences have rallied the population of Pittsburgh. Residents of the city’s diverse neighborhoods have banded together in a show of endurance and community spirit to do what Pittsburgh does best: complain.
They’re complaining primarily about the mayor and city council, all of whom were re-elected recently in spite of widespread and widely publicized incompetence, corruption, economic ignorance, demonstrative dishonesty and an abject lack of sense.
“Who’d have thought that a bunch of total idiots could have screwed something up this bad,” asked one resident whose street is buried beneath eight feet of permafrost. “At least I can console myself with the knowledge that I pay exorbitantly high taxes. Not like those dopes in the suburbs with cleared roads living miles from downtown. Which I can’t get to anyway unless I find an Iditarod sled team in my basement.”
